


peter wearing tony's hoodie

by killerqueenwrites



Series: i will always hold you close (irondad bingo) [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Gen, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Endgame, Sleepy Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony's MIT Hoodie, come forget about endgame with me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:01:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27591742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerqueenwrites/pseuds/killerqueenwrites
Summary: Tony’s used to his clothes going missing. His MIT hoodie doesn’t often leave his closet, though, which is why he notices its absence straight away. There’s a lifetime of safety and comfort in this old hoodie, for both of them, and that’s all Tony could ever wish to give Peter.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: i will always hold you close (irondad bingo) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2016994
Comments: 14
Kudos: 509





	peter wearing tony's hoodie

**Author's Note:**

> if you're subscribed to me, sorry for the spam you're getting. i'm reuploading my irondad bingo one-shots as individual stories to make it easier for people to find them. [ they were originally posted here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19019488/chapters/45168637)
> 
> i wrote this a few weeks after endgame for comfort and denial, a state in which i still exist

Tony’s used to his clothes going missing. It’s been happening for years: Pepper likes to sleep in his shirts, and he can’t complain because she looks great in them; Rhodey has been part of his life for so long they’ve forgotten where one wardrobe ends and another begins; Morgan has been in her dress-up phase, and with Pepper’s work clothes out of bounds, Tony’s are fair game.

His MIT hoodie doesn’t often leave his closet, though, which is why he notices its absence straight away. It’s weird; he just feels like sleeping in it tonight. He can’t explain why.

No, scratch that, he definitely can. The hoodie hasn’t left his closet in so long because it used to remind him of Peter. It was what he wore during lab sessions with the kid, sleeves rolled up to his elbows as they buried themselves in projects. It’s what he used to drape over Peter when he nodded off on the sofa in the corner of the lab, far too late at night. He’s spent five years seeing it folded in the corner of his closet and turning away from the memories of his failures. He wants it now, because it feels like home without the added guilt.

“You seen my hoodie, honey?” he calls softly over his shoulder, conscious of his kids sleeping down the hall.

_His kids_. Finally, he can say that and not feel like something, like someone, is missing.

Pepper hums as she thinks, already sitting in bed with a StarkPad. “I remember seeing it earlier today, so Harley can’t have packed it by mistake when he left. Does Morgan have it?”

“Not sure.” Tony shuts the closet. “I’ll go check on the kids anyway.”

Morgan has already nodded off, half-buried in a mountain of stuffed toys. Her favourites are the Iron Man and the Spider-Man; she has good taste.

She sleeps peacefully, oblivious to the world around her. Good. Ignorance truly is bliss, Tony has decided. She knows nothing about the time travel, the devastation Thanos brought, the showdown in the ruins of the Compound, and she never will, if Tony has his way. She doesn’t need to know that he almost died.

Peter, on the other hand…

Peter was there. He saw everything.

He’s been different since he came back, alternating between nervous rambling that’s nothing like his usual happy chatter, and stiff withdrawn silence. Both May and Tony are at a loss.

“But at least we’re at a loss together, Stark,” May had said.

Except May isn’t here now. She’s back in New York, probably spending a lot of alone time with Happy, and Tony has to deal with a traumatised kid by himself. He doesn’t mind, of course he doesn’t, but he’s really not sure he’s the most equipped to handle it.

He opens Peter’s door without knocking, not wanting to disturb him if he’s already asleep. God knows he hasn’t been getting enough.

The kid’s not there.

_Shit_. Shit shit shit.

Logic tries to tell him that it isn’t happening again, it can’t be, they destroyed the Stones, killed Thanos twice over, but logic is nothing in the face of all-consuming terror.

He half-stumbles down the stairs, ready to yell for FRIDAY to _find him_ , but stops when he sees a huddled figure on the couch.

Peter is lying down, but his eyes catch the light from the upstairs hallway as he turns to look at Tony. He’s bundled up in a familiar hoodie, the sleeves pulled down over his hands and the hood hiding his hair.

Tony blows out a long breath, his anxiety melting away as quickly as it had come. “Hey, kid.”

“Hey, Mr Stark.” Peter rolls over so he’s lying face down, a clear signal for _don’t talk to me_.

“Ah, the fabled hoodie thief,” Tony says, going for casual and only just overshooting. Peter doesn’t answer, so he lowers his voice. “You’ll have one of your own soon, one that probably hasn’t been puked on at some point. Although maybe that’s a rite of passage…”

“Yeah, so we just continue like everything’s normal?” Peter mumbles into the couch before whipping his head around to stare at Tony. “Sure, I’ll carry on, go to college. Like you didn’t just cancel the apocalypse a few months ago? Like I wasn’t gone for five years?”

Oh.

Just as quickly as his outburst had come, Peter shrinks back into himself. “Like you didn’t nearly die?” It’s barely a whisper.

“Oh, Pete.” Tony sits on the couch with a heavy sigh. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

He doesn’t remember much after he snapped. Rhodey was there, and Pepper, telling him he couldn’t rest yet, and Peter was crying…

Peter’s voice is muffled by cushions again, but it’s the most forthcoming he’s been since the battle. “I watched you die.”

Tony reaches out on instinct, finds Peter’s hair under the hood, runs his fingers through it. He’s still here, still solid. “I’m here, kid. I know it looked bad for a hot minute-“

“Your heart stopped,” Peter whispers. “I heard it.”

“You _heard_ it?” Tony says, louder than he means to, and Peter cringes into the couch. “No, Pete – I’m not mad, just…God, I’m sorry.” He knows he died, for all intents and purposes, before they managed to portal him to Wakanda, but he never thought about what it did to the people who stayed with him the whole time.

“He hasn’t left your side,” Pepper had whispered, while a half-conscious Tony gazed blearily at Peter, curled in a chair beside his hospital bed.

“I’m sorry,” Tony says again, “so sorry you had to see that.”

“Why did you do it?” Peter mumbles. “Why would you do that?”

“I had to-“

“No, you _didn’t_. Carol had the gauntlet – and Steve was there – I held onto it longer than anyone-“

“ _No_.” Tony’s voice tightens with fear. If Peter had – if he… “And if you think for one second I would’ve let you, you better think again.”

“Someone else still should’ve done it,” Peter mutters. “Why were you even there? You had – all this. Saving the universe – that’s someone else’s job. You didn’t have to-“

“Kinda did,” Tony says, flippant, trying to hide the lump in his throat. _Don’t you know how important you are? Don’t you know you’re the reason I figured it all out? The reason I even considered it?_ “I mean, sure, I had a good life here. I had Pep, I had Morgan – but I didn’t have you.”

That makes Peter roll back over, wide eyes finding Tony’s. “So it’s true? You did all that – you nearly died – because of me?”

Oh, _Peter_. “Sorry, are you blaming yourself for this?”

“So you did.” Peter sits up again, curling in on himself as far down the sofa as he can get. Tony feels the distance like a fist to his ribcage, and wants nothing more than Peter’s warmth under his fingers again. “Mr _Stark_.”

“I did.” Tony remembers the first spark of hope when Steve, Scott and Natasha had shown up; the almost hysterical relief when he’d figured out that it was _going to work_ ; working, working, driven by the thought of seeing his kid again; the gut punch of losing Natasha; the few seconds of quiet after Bruce snapped; the rage, anger like he hadn’t felt for years, when Thanos talked about erasing the universe, Tony’s family, his kids, like they were nothing; the dull throb of horror that came with the certainty that he was going to die; regret, endless regret that he was leaving all the people he loved.

And then sheer thankfulness when he woke up again, Pepper clutching his hand and Peter sleeping by his side, alive and unhurt. Thankfulness that he got to stay, that they were safe.

“I did it, Pete,” Tony says, no longer sure whether he’s talking about the time heist or the gauntlet, “and I’d do it again. I wouldn’t even hesitate, because as long as Thanos was alive, none of us were going to be safe. I would’ve lost you all over again. Tried that – living without you – for five years. Not a fan. This life didn’t mean much without all my family in it.”

Peter only stares at his knees, fiddling with the cuffs of the hoodie, but Tony can still see the tears threatening to fall. He decides to change tack.

“Why’re you stealing my clothes, hm?” He keeps his voice low, gentle, trying to coax Peter out of his spiral. “All you have to do is ask if you want them. Did you miss laundry day, or something?”

“Reminds me of you.” It’s so quiet Tony has to strain to hear him. “Of before. Lab days and me falling asleep on your couch, but I’d always wake up in my bed. Now, it’s like – five years? This house and your hair and, and Morgan. I love her, Mr Stark, but sometimes I just remember that I was gone. And things changed.”

“I have a workshop here, you know. If you want a lab day, kid, just ask-“

“And sometimes,” Peter says, “I wake up and I’m so sure you’re dead. I thought – if I have this – I won’t freak out so much.”

“Nightmares?” Tony asks. Honestly, he’d be amazed if what happened hadn’t stuck with Peter.

“I think? More like…feelings.”

Tony nods, reaching out his left arm and ignoring the shadow of pain in his right. “C’mere, kid.” When Peter doesn’t move, he shifts halfway down the couch himself. “Underoos-“

The old nickname breaks the last of Peter’s wavering resolve; he all but throws himself down the couch, curling into Tony’s arms the way he always used to. Somewhere between huffing in surprise and wrapping his arms around Peter on long-buried instinct, Tony realises they haven’t done this for five years.

Sure, he hugged Peter on the battlefield, hugged him and hoped he’d never have to let go. They hugged when Tony woke up in Wakanda, and again when he was finally allowed to leave. They haven’t _cuddled_ like this, curled up against a sofa arm or on a pile of cushions, since before. It didn’t happen often, but when it did – usually after a close call or a long day – Tony would marvel at the way Peter crawled into his space, into his life, without a second’s hesitation, the way he always just _fit_. Peter still fits in his arms, against his chest, under his chin, in his family.

“It’s okay.” Tony drops his head so his face is resting on the hood still pulled up over Peter’s hair. It smells faintly of the lab, of oil and chemicals, a little burnt from the odd accident; he can see why Peter likes it. “I’m right here, kid. I’m not going anywhere.” _Not tonight, not ever_.

“I don’t know what I would’ve done if you’d died,” Peter mumbles into the front of Tony’s shirt.

“Well, you don’t need to worry about that. Nothing happened, did it?” Tony rests his chin on top of Peter’s head. “You don’t even need this old hoodie to remember me. You have the real thing.”

“But I _like_ this hoodie.” There’s a hint of the old Peter, Tony’s Peter, under the fog of sleep in his voice. “‘S’soft. And warm.”

“I’m not getting it back, am I?”

“Nope.”

Tony can live with that. “Hey, listen.” He pulls back so he can look Peter in the eyes. “I’m only gonna say this once, okay? And only because you’re half-asleep so you can’t take the piss-“

“I would never,” Peter says, but there’s a sleepy smirk he can’t hide, as much as he tries.

“Yeah, like you haven’t been spending too much time with Harley Keener.”

“No such thing.”

“Okay, _listen_.” Tony runs a hand through Peter’s hair, pushing the hood down, before dropping it to his cheek. “I did what I had to do in that moment, to keep you safe, to keep Morgan and Pepper safe, Rhodey, Happy, Harley. And yeah, I knew there was a chance it would turn out badly for me, and I was really hoping it didn’t, but if it had-“ Peter tenses. “ _If_ it had, I was okay with leaving, because I knew you’d be here. I knew I was leaving the world in good hands – the best hands. And I’d saved you. That was all I wanted to do.”

“You saved everyone,” Peter corrects him. “The whole universe.”

“The whole universe is a pretty big, abstract thing, Pete. Sue me if I didn’t have the energy to care about everyone.” He strokes his thumb across Peter’s cheek, smiling when the kid leans into his palm. “Thinking about you, though…that was all I needed.”

Peter goes still, eyes widening. “…oh.”

“Yeah, _oh_ , kid.” Tony can’t help his fond grin. “Sorry, what about that took so long to sink in?”

“Oh, nothing, just…” Peter smiles back. “Love you too, Mr Stark.”

“Well, I didn’t say-“

“I think it was implied somewhere between ‘I tore the universe apart for you’ and ‘the world would’ve been in the best hands’.”

“Yeah, that’s fair.” Tony lets Peter nestle back against his chest. “Of course I love you, kid.” Peter makes a contented sound. “Ready for bed? I’ll let you keep the hoodie and everything.”

Silence.

“Pete?”

Nothing, and then a soft breath. Peter’s head drops onto Tony’s shoulder and his arms go slack.

“Okay,” Tony whispers. “Guess I’m really not going anywhere.” His hoodie is soft against his skin, bringing a wealth of memories with it. It’s nights in the lab with Peter, sure, but also studying in dorms and the library with Rhodey, shrugging into comfortable clothes on hangover days, early morning classes while running on nothing but coffee. There’s a lifetime of safety and comfort in this old hoodie, for both of them, and that’s all Tony could ever wish to give Peter.

He shifts so Peter’s lying more securely in his lap before letting his own eyes slip shut.

* * *

Tony wakes up when Pepper slips down the stairs and into the living room, the rising sun catching her hair through the windows. Her eyes spark with amusement when she sees him cradling Peter on the couch.

“You found your hoodie, I see.”

“Came with a bonus kid.” Tony grins, doing his best not to wake Peter. “Sorry, he just conked out and I didn’t want to move him-“

“Don’t worry.” Pepper smiles down at Peter with the same soft expression she usually reserves for Morgan, and Tony loves his family so much he could burst. “May did say he hasn’t been sleeping well.”

“Mm.”

“Let him rest as long as he wants, then. Teenagers need sleep, and we have no plans today.”

“Sounds good.”

Peter lets out a gentle snore and burrows further into Tony’s chest; Tony thinks he might melt.

“You’re good with him,” Pepper says. “I forgot how much. I forgot how much you changed once you met him.” Her fingers ghost over Peter, adjusting the hoodie slightly, before coming to rest on Tony’s cheek. “You got him back.”

“I did.” The five years flash behind his eyelids, but Peter’s weight in his arms chases them away. “Sometimes I have to check I’m not dreaming, or…or nothing bad’s about to happen, right when I’m finally happy. How’d I get so lucky, Pep?”

“You deserve this, Tony,” she murmurs. “After all those years fighting – you won. You can rest now.”

“Yeah, well.” Tony glances down at Peter – ruffled curls, mouth slightly open, and a hoodie that’s seen the inside of far too many washing machines – and the fierce, sudden wave of love leaves him breathless. “The world is in good hands.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on tumblr at [akillerqueenwrites](https://akillerqueenwrites.tumblr.com), or my main blog [akillerqueenyouare](https://akillerqueenyouare.tumblr.com). come say hi, ask questions, leave prompts or just yell at me. i've also made a twitter, [@killerqueenao3](https://twitter.com/killerqueenao3) , if any of you want to talk to me there (it's mostly pictures of my dog). thank you for reading!


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